On the choice and inclination to be subtle.

Young apprentice, There are times when learning the subtlest of the subtle arcana makes you want to scream. You will not be as flashy as those who learn Forces, you will not have the power over healing and harming as those who learn Life. You will not have the gifts of manipulating the pure essence of magic as those who learn Prime do. You will not have the capacity to teleport or directly control an individual. (Though, leading a strike team through the ways between buildings without the use of magick is very subtle.) Spirits and ghosts will be a mystery to you. And even the gifts of Time can reveal more or make one more accurate in battle. What can you do with the mysteries of Fate? You can prepare yourself and others. You can ensure that the items needed are received and that the items that you do have work exceptionally well. You can hinder others – though be aware that the skill of others will always outmatch any ill luck – and aid your allies. But to do this well and effectively, you must be cunning and forward thinking. I fear you will have to look to another mentor for these skills. I am as subtle as a poke in the eye. Take social interactions. Ideally, one would want to guide a conversation rather than say “you’re a moron. This way will work better.” That isn’t one of my strengths. As an example, a gentleman – a public interfector none the less – from another dimension came to visit. The second earth that I had been speaking about. His shadowname was Raven. And if you ever meet him, do try to get away as soon as you can. He informed us that creatures from the Tannamos were being forced out of the dream-scape and astral plane by the movement of the Abyss. It was explained to us as if every part of the Tapestry was a body – you put pressure on one part of the body and the other parts move. This is true for blood, muscle, skin and even pregnancy. And like a pregnancy, when things get too large, and when there is too much pressure, there is an explosion and pain. Alright, the metaphor falls apart here, but it was the best I could do. He said it was a symptom of the issues his world faced, and that the best thing we could do was to be on the defensive; as well as be ready to make the ultimate sacrifices – and I’m not talking about self-sacrifice. I’m talking about being ready to kill off entire civilizations to stop what is coming. My response was simple: why should we ever believe him? Especially since he was looking to build a gate that will send things back to his home world – specifically magically active nuclear weapons. Enough to destroy all of Europe, most of Russia and a good chunk of Asia and Oceania. I may or may not have said a few other things that made Raven say “Hmm… I hadn’t thought of that, but it has potential.” And possibly caused more trouble for all involved. Simply because I wasn’t subtle enough. Then there are physical confrontations. Take the Cult of Galacki. This is a cult that is (and I hope to soon say “was”) operating out of a church on Main Street and Gibson. Go visit it some time. It may do your soul some good – and it may help keep life safe. We, a group of six mages including Root, Cardgame, Equitus, Scribe and a new Free Councillor walked right up to the church and demanded to know who they were and what they were doing in our city. Well, it turns out that Hamilton is a very good place for cults – especially for cults that are being powered by Abyssal entities. I suppose I should have just cut whatever tie was keeping the reverent alive then and there, but I was curious as to what these creatures did. Call it a hobby. It is what my cabal was based on, after all. The end result of the conversation was root and the girl nearly being dead thanks to eight of these unholy… actually they all had holes in their chests… things shooting at us with shotguns. Curses to keep them from shooting did not work well. A short time after escaping into the Shadow (and no, I am not going to say a word to Cardgame about that as there are times when the risk of a vulgar spell must be met) we flooded the area and arced the place with electricity. And then went in to try to clean up. What did we learn that day? Undead flesh can take bullets as easily as I can take a corned beef sandwich, and they can brush off electricity just as easily. Equitus eventually went back to vent his frustrations with blades and body armor. Yes, I did go with him, but again, it was time to be subtle. The church had an intimate connection to the cult, so I cursed the entire building and made Equitus exempt from that ill luck. Again, none of it was very subtle. Perhaps being unsubtle is the best thing to do. The Century 21 building has been host to Unity for several months now, and holes that open and close to their world come up often in that building, as well as radiation. Unity keeps the penthouse… or they did before the potential suicide mission. A mission where Emrius – our cabal mate and my cousin - died. Sometimes, one should not lead people between the buildings. Perhaps arranging for a something suitably unsubtle to happen at that building would not be amiss…

Of population increase and being busy.

There are times, young one, when it cannot be helped. You will be pulled in so many different directions that you are either not sure what is happening, or you will want to lash out, or both. If you do lash out, be sure any damage is fixable. You never know when the person whom you lash out against may become a ... I hesitate to say trusted... less mistrusted ally than most. Last night so many things happened that I cannot begin to keep track of all of them. A visitor from another dimension - an alternate reality - came forward seeking aid for himself and 200 others. He was a high-magister of the Silver Ladder in his reality. Although many people want to keep all of the individuals from that reality out of this one, I cannot help but feel compassion for him and his people. If they do come, I will do what I can to help. I will also ensure they will be tracked and followed until the day their children's children's children die. A birth came. A young woman who's shadowname is Immiteral had claimed to be raped by a werewolf four months ago, and the wolf wanted her child. The child was born tonight. A girl. Af far as I can tell, this girl's fate is indeterminate until she is a teenager. All the more reason to become the child's godparent and guide the child in the best ways of Truth. And if the child becomes a banisher or serves the Abyss, then so much easier for us to take care of the situation. Some of the child's birth-fluid has been stored away. The council met for four hours. I was there for part of it, but then left to deal with other things... namely what has been mentioned above. It is no longer my place to be upon the national council. And they can have it! And my own allies kept coming to me asking for my aid. Aid with local matters. Aid with the local council. Aid with new mages. Aid with unknown entities. Aid with the baby and the Visitor and with guests from other cities... And when someone whom I have been looking to help train came and asked for aid with something else... well... It was time to tell some people to do what they think is best, to not get caught, to not break the veil, and if I had to clean up after them, I would not be happy. Retirement can't come soon enough...

Of having power, but not really having power.

I was made Deputy Hierarch. Me. And our new hierarch could not be in the city during our gathers for a few months. So, where did that leave me? As a puppet, simply put. Young apprentice, whomever you are, I hope your mentors have taught you about the responsibility of power. If they haven’t, skip this journal entry until you understand responsibility of power. Let me tell you about council meetings. First, there are a lot of them. My first gathering as Deputy Hierarch, I had no less than three council meetings... And people continually talk in circles without resolving to actually do anything. It is infuriating. Several new mages came into the city, and are planning on staying here. Most were thyrsis. Most were arrow. Something tells me I should be very worried. The balance of power within this city seems to be tipping. Be weary of this, young apprentice. Power always changing, but too much power in one direction can shift things in ways that are unpredictable and can cause great difficulties for the city as a whole - not just Mage society, but all who live here (including the cryptids). I foresee a power-struggle in the future, as two different individuals sent the Thyrsis (both new and old) on the same mission. I will freely admit, there was one Arrow whom I am ready to despise. She is apparently a member of the highest order of the Arrow; and as such, she feels that she is both above the city's laws, and that she has no need to observe them. At the very least, she claims her previous vows keep her from swearing to anything. She even openly mocked the city's Lex. I will admit, when the entirety of the welcome speech from the Council changed from "use your common sense and avoid causing any undue harm using magic" to "don't get caught", there are large issues. I am very tempted to create a new Lex and present it to the council. But back to the main point... how can one be trusted if one will not agree to live by society's laws? And does she not understand that one can be bound by several oaths that do not conflict? Can she even consider herself a member of Canadian society if she will not hold to an oath of Canadian citizenship? Does she believe herself to be above all laws, or just the ones of our city? She must be watched very carefully. There was business that was discussed. Primarily, it involved the fate of the girls who were kidnapped. Apparently, one became a Banisher. This was dealt with easily enough, though it was time consuming. And, unfortunately, required the use of arch-magic to remove her status as Awakened, use of Fate magic to determine if she could ever Awaken as anything other than a Banisher (she couldn't) and use of Mind magic to help keep her from Awakening in the future. At least she will have a close relationship with God - though I would rather her join the Jewish faith than an orthodox Christian faith... We also had an issue where the Sentinal and the Hearold were both accused of working the the Seerers. As one investigates the other in situations like this, it was problematic. Although we gained some information from each of them with regards to what the Seerers were up to (independently verified by the Guardians, I should add), the idea that they are spies for us was quickly abused when one of the Seerers called. I don't know how this new leader of the local Seerers got Sherlock's phone number... possibly through the phone book, possibly through other means. (Let that be a lesson to you, young apprentice - keep your mundane ties away from your mystical ones if you can help it. And if you can't help it, then set up protections that they won't be used against you.) A new Sentinal and new Hearold were chosen with due haste. I personally approve of the selections - especially since I was the one who recommended them to the council. What I do not approve of is the old Hearold becoming the deputy Sentinal. We will see what Fate has in store with this development, and how many curses I will have to utter. Finally, there was another meeting that dealt with a new artifact. I am blunt in my beliefs - both mundane and supernal - and will say openly, I don't believe in fairies. Where our old sentinal got a particular trinket and how he got it is a mystery. He could not have gotten it from fairies... Truly he couldn't. And why did he leave the Silver Ladder? The new Hearald and Sentinal are investigating.

Of battle

There is a famous picture that says “war is hell”. And it is. It is a long, drawn out hell that is played on many fronts and has consequences that last much longer than when the last shot is fired. My dear apprentice, I hope you never have to go through hell. Panamoniam is difficult enough! I have spoken about what our kind went through with regards to the Horsemen. Today, I want to talk about the final battle. And make no mistake, young one. Even though I say “final battle”, these individuals have existed for hundreds of years. They will be back. It pains me to say it, but there was a member of the Horsemen among the Guardians. There was also a member among the Arrow, the Mysterium and among the Silver Ladder – though it appeared that he was late to join the group. All but one have been killed. But I get to the end of the story before going to the start. We had arranged for a temporary truce with the Seerers of the Throne. The Seerers knew where our base of operations was. As we knew where the Horsemen wanted to go and when they wanted to be there, I had arranged for sleepers to be away from the site at that time. As such, we let the Seerers defend the area around our base of operations. The idea was that the Seerers would both slow down the Horsemen and widdle away at their ghostly army. Never did anyone believe that the Horsemen would have access to a submarine! Nor did we think that they would take the submarine into the Shadow, completely bypassing the Seerers! We had egg on our faces. It was not good. Still, we defended the structure that needed to be defended. Mac and (I think) Root helped with a powerful ritual which would undo what the Horsemen had sought to do using the Copernicus device. Though, at one point, they waved me over to them and asked if any who were participating in the ritual would betray the cause. It turns out, the leader of the ritual – now an arch magus – was destined to partake in the ritual, and ascend to the Supernal realms. When Fate told me this, I laughed. I laughed so hard that I nearly missed part of the battle. Truly, I don't remember most of the battle. I counter-spelled several spells with the help of a drag queen named Dio, who's makeup ran every time he was almost harmed. (Oie vey! May I never have that experience ever again!) I tried to sever the ties of the ghosts to their masters, but the ties between the ghosts – who seemed to be ghostly familiars – was too strong. I sent out curse after curse after curse, only on those who were undead, not on the living. I helped counter-spell a Horseman who had co-located four times – and (God be praised) succeeded! Around us, people were engaging with the ghosts and horsemen. Knives flew through the air. Eir ran everywhere, attempting to heal the wounded. Billy Motion and Card Game came up with some sort of box that reminded me of an old movie from the 1980s. The sad thing is, their device actually worked for trapping ghosts... most of the time. Celestial fire blazed, mostly due to Apollyon. Guns were fired. Arrows flew. People bled. And only one of us died, not on the battle field. The hierarchic went into the Shadow to confront the Horsemen head on. I do not know what had happened afterwards, but she never returned and is presumed dead. The worst casualty, I believe, was our reality. Paradox is a reality. A break did not happen in my sight, but it was (apparently) a close thing, what with all the vulgar spells being thrown around on all sides. But more than that, our view of reality was shattered. We had betrayal from within. We faced battle. We can no longer delude ourselves that we are safe in our ivory towers, connected to the other Towers and made safe by magic and belief. Call me a cynic, but by the time you read this, young one, I doubt that the scars will have healed. And I doubt you will ever be safe.

Of running away.

The horsemen came for us guardians in our sanctum. They attacked with powerful mind magics. While, thanks to my family's ring, I was unaffected, I was the only one who walked out of that "meeting" alive. Apparently, to everyone else, it was a day at the beach. Huh. I regret that I could not find others to aid me... though apparently help was offered and refused. New mages came into the city, though just to visit. As Steward, I had a difficult time dealing with them.

Of family and obligations.

March 16 Family sucks. My little brother, the arrow, has returned. There is a very large gap between our ages, but that is of no matter. We met up and discussed what he had been doing with his life beyond the letters. We talked about our legacies, and did so in his an acanthus Demance. I will admit, being there felt very very good. I hope to use it should we need a weapon against Death and the other Horsemen. He talked about Mel's "nanabooboo" statement and how Cyrbrus wants an appology, and that the Arrow want a minor boon for the insult of the soul stone. I have taken the boon upon myself, but the appology must come from Mac. Mac has been ousted as leader of the Guardians. If you are not going to show up to do your job, you will not be able to do your job. As such, the position will be taken away. Etrius now has the job, by mutual agreement - and most of us said "not it". And, of course, when I mentioned the Arrow's request with Mac appologizing, the response was part laughter and part ignenation. Someimes, young apprentace, one must swallow pride for the grater good. The sentinel doesn't appreciate how I do my job - which is basically telling people not to be stupid. And if they are stupid, to ask for help. He says I am apparently too loud. My response: when I am loud, you will know... and I will probably need help. Etrius, Sherlock and I took care of the Hunters who have been cleaning up the streets. It was done with diplomacy. That said, I took a very good look at the items that they have. I think I could call those items to me if needed. It was a bit insane - trying to get through their high-tech electronic system (note: Learn Forces, young apprentace. It will make your life easier) without causing undue hardship on anyone (i.e. calling in a favor to shut down the power of the city block would have been a career ended). Eventually, we did manage to get in... but they had cameras on us all the time. It figures. Still, explaining the situation: that we were the group who formed them then lost contact. I thought for sure we would have to "throw down"... and was fairly sure we would loose. I hate to say this about myself, but I am still a lump. Still... it didn't come down to fighting, for which I am greatful. Three promises were made to the Hunters, to help the neighborhood: gaining a dental truck, funding for a child care center, and help with their weapons. The first two can be done, eventually, but I am worried that there is potential abuse for the last. The last thing of note is the meeting I had with Root and (Andy's Character) because we each work at city hall. Appolian joined us. We discussed what each of us could do to improve the city - and some of the air got cleared between Root and Andy's Character. Root won't block (Andy's Character) any more, which is good. It is high time we all get on the same page and work together! I was asked to look into who, what and why, are blocking the Silver Ladder's attempts to move the city forward and change the psychotecture. However, I am having trouble deciding if I will actually do so.

Of spirits and failure

You must accept that you will fail.  In spite of our great power – or perhaps because of it – things will go poorly.  At times, they will go very poorly.  There is great danger in thinking that because we can control the fundamental building blocks of the universe, that we have the ability to ensure everything will go the way we want it to go.

This is not so, especially when there are other things that can change the fundamental building blocks of the universe – both Mages and other entities.

Take, for example, what would happen if the only person capable of manipulating souls had lost his.  Now, I do not know what your mentors have taught you about lacking a soul, but it is not good.  Losing your magic is the least of your worries, though it feels the most traumatic.  Losing one’s abilities to defend oneself from enemies is worse.  But, in my opinion, slowly losing control of one’s sanity is worse.  Most elderly individuals will agree, as will the people who have to watch them give into to dementia and Aleshimer’s.

 Beyond that, not having one’s own soul is a large issue for one who had not yet forged a Legacy – it automatically makes one susceptible to becoming a Trimere Litch.   

Fortunately, there are ways to temporarily starve off the insanity by borrowing a soul of one already dead .  Would any Guardian ever do this?  Well… debatable.  The Guardians do what they need to do

But if something like this ever happened, it is always within one’s best interest to keep it completely secret.  And if one cannot keep it completely secret, one must make sure that what one is doing is legal within gold, silver and iron law.    That way if someone finds out about it, he or she cannot bring an entire order up on charges, but can only huff and puff and say “You should have done something different… I quit… you may all burn in Hell”.  That, of course, is a fairly unorigional curse – though it can be done dramatically.  (I, personally, would have said “and may you all find yourselves on a lovely plot of land in the south with hot and sunny weather, beautiful women, and all the cotton you can pick”.  But I also just saw Twelve Years a Slave.)

At least I managed to convince that young Guardian from Cambridge not to wage war on the entire Guardian Caucus of Hamilton.  Of course, I didn’t tell him not to tell anyone else.  He wouldn’t listen to me if I did.  If he does tell someone else… well, it is their problem.

The second thing that didn’t go well was having an abysmally tainted bus show up.  I need to go through my records and find out exactly who agreed to let this company install driverless buses in this city.  What’s worse is the number of people who were on the bus – a number of people who, by the time we Guardians got to the scene, had fled.  Perhaps an APB could be put out, asking for witnesses to this.  I will have to figure out how these abyssally tainted creatures are tracking Billy Motion.  Perhaps I can occlude him, somehow.

The third thing that did not go right was Death appearing where some idiots decided to search where he had been.  Stupid new Arrows!  They think that because they know how to fight that they can be anything less than cautious!  That was a venture I was supposed to have joined as well… one that I probably could have aided them with – for I do have a spell that will partly weaken Death and his companions.  Of course, I would be a target…  It may not be the best idea for me to meet with the Horsemen just yet.  But soon.

Death had prepared a ritual.  We saw some of it, but not all.  When the individuals who had encountered Death – and those who had helped heal them afterwards – had returned to the Gathering, they brought with them spiritual parasites (which even looked like bugs) which flowed out of them and attacked us.  Fortunately, we were able to destroy it – mostly through the ghost guardian on site and some quick use of lightning.  How we are going to explain the power-outage for five city blocks, I am not yet sure, but we will think of something.

I blame myself.  I am a Guardian and am in charge of keeping walls safe.

The second in command said there was nothing that could be done.  But the second in command was one of the infected.

I ask you this, godchild: what do you think motivates this statement?   And is it worth punishment as a Guardian for accidentally bringing forth an Abyssally tainted being into our safe-haven?  Does my lack of foresight require punishment?  And if yes to these questions, what?

The life of a Guardian is never easy.  You have control of the building blocks of the universe.  How will you use them when things fail?

Of leadership and doing nothing

The Guardians were never meant to lead.  Ours is an order of spies and assassins.  We looked to the internal threats, as well as the external threats that required a more gentle hand than the typical Arrow response of running in with swords drawn and guns firing.  While each mage was expected to learn and collect, we specialized in collecting things that should never see the light of day, rather than collecting things that will one day be of use.  That preview was for the Mysterium.  Occasionally, we would drop a hint in the right ear to preserve the veil – very similar to how the Silver Ladder does things, when they are not being pompous and trying to take charge simply because they are Ladder.   But no, the Guardians were never meant to lead.

Perhaps that needs to change in Hamilton.

We have, at present, 3 enemies at the door.  A group of computerized abyssal spirits that seem to be targeting the Free Council.  (Well, of course.  Who else would they target?)  Four Litches who seem to be targeting the Arrow and only Death Master in the city.  And now something new: a possible Abyssal spirit that “will rise and destroy us all” no one seems to be doing anything about.  Actually, no one seems to be doing anything about any of these.  And take note godchild!  When one does nothing about an issue, that issue gets worse.

Oh.  And let’s not forget the Seerers.  And the Copernicus Device.  And the Psychotecture.  Actually, those last two do have some merit of people talking and researching.  I seemed to have spent most of my day in a meetings – meetings where we talked circles around the Copernicus Device and the Psychotecture.  Meetings are a good place to learn about what has officially gone on in any given place.  Avoid them and try to find out what is unofficially going on.  Sadly, I can offer no advice on how to do this.

Appolyion gave a report on the nature of the Psychotecture that was created by someone named “Mr. Shandor”.  More accurately, he gave a report on what we have to do to change the “bad fun shuway” to good “fun shuway”.  I don’t know what “fun shuway” is but it doesn’t really sound fun.  They should, perhaps, call it “hard shuway” because that is what it will be if we want to get rid of this cloud.  We will have to install a light rail system.  Given the difficulties that other cities are having with even considering such a system – namely Toronto and Waterloo – I believe such a project will not happen.  That said, we did once have a rail system in the city down Main Street.  I used to take it to work.  Some nostalgia has come back when I see those new buses done in the old trail-trolly style.  And having special lanes for buses and taxies are very close to having tracks for the rail system.

The second thing we need to do is reverse the Jolly cut.  That is likely not going to happen.

The third thing we need to do is to remove all of the flint that is in the walls of city hall.  This is a very good thing, as there is also an abyssal resonance that is connected to the flint at City Hall.  And I will expand more on this after dealing with the political / a-practical.  This could, actually, be done fairly easily – if the Seerers do not interfere.  We have the money and city hall is in need of a face lift anyways.  And here is where our leadership gets questioned.  Our hierarch has decided to let it be, for now.  She is concerned that if we remove the flint (and other things), it will further the goals of one group of Seerers (the Hegemonic Ministry).  If you don’t know what the Hegemonic Ministry is, that is probably both good and bad.  It is good, because you don’t want to deal with them.  It is bad because knowledge is power and your mentor should be showing you how to counter our enemy’s moves by showing you their typical moves.  An any rate, the hierarch wants to let things be until she can do more research…

Which brings us to the next problem.  The spirit “Tariskar--”.  And yes, I left out a letter or two.  Names have power, so I am not giving this thing more power by fully writing its name down.  We know it is bad.  We know it is evil.  We know it is going to come and destroy the city.  We know it has an affinity to Flint.  It is probably an abyssal entity – hence the abyssal taint on the flint at City Hall.  We suspect that the Horsemen are trying to summon this thing.  Is anyone doing anything about this?  No.  Is anyone worried about this?  It doesn’t appear to be so.  Should our leaders be more worried about the threat that is going to come and kill us all instead of an uneasy truce?  I would say so.

That said, the seerers seem to have another uneasy truce with the Four Horsemen.  As far as I know, no horseman has attacked a Seerer.  I wonder why…  Death certainly could!  He has that scythe that can kill at will without touching anyone.  Both Appolian and Root nearly died by finding this out.  I was not there (meetings all day) but had discovered that both decided to hunt down Death.  They barely scratched him.  

And I haven’t even touched upon the signs that Hunters have appeared in Hamilton, around Wilson Street.  They even have Prime guns and Prime shields.  They look like weapons from an Arrow locker.   Nor have I touched upon the mob selling flu shots.  (Admittedly, this isn’t that worrisome, other than it showing the quality of mobster in Hamilton.  That is something I have no worries about.)

We need a plan to fix these creatures, as well as prevent a rising of that evil Indian spirit of change.  Godchild, be careful as to who you agree to lead you.  Be careful with whom you choose to lead as well.  Priorities may be different, and the end goals may not match what is best for you, for the Guardians, and for the city as a whole.

I came across a curious key a few days ago.  It has unique properties in that it will let me go through secret tunnels (probably the result of the Psychotecture) but only below the escarpment.  This bares investigating, especially as it does not seem to be magick.